don't know where else to put this

So I went to the bathroom just now, and as I was washing my hands, I randomly started crying out of nowhere.

Obviously it was because I was thinking about her, but I can't figure out the actual reason. I think it's most likely to do with the fact that I proved to be a fricken useless friend on numerous occasions and yet I think I'm kind and logical and sensible and all this crap and yet I can't even talk to my best mate goddamn properly.

but I'm all the way over here in NZ. so I don't know.

I don't know anything. :/